You forgot to milk the clowns, didn’t you? SCP-2912 Clowny Clown Clown

You forgot to milk the clowns, didn’t you? SCP-2912 Clowny Clown Clown

SCP-2912 Clowny Clown Clown – object class neutralized Item #: SCP-2912 Object Class: Neutralized Special Containment Procedures: The remains
of SCP-2912-1, SCP-2912-2, and SCP-2912-3 are to remain preserved within individual
cryogenic storage units at Biological Containment Site-66. ARCHIVED: Special Containment Procedures SCP-2912 are to be held in isolation within
individual Humanoid Containment Units at Biological Containment Site-66. SCP-2912 instances must be fed a strict diet
of “Circus Peanuts” and sugar water that has been artificially colored purple. Foundation physicians are to remain on standby,
despite knowledge of SCP-2912 health and biology being extremely limited at this time. Description: SCP-2912 designates three roughly
humanoid organisms resembling typical circus clowns: SCP-2912-1, SCP-2912-2, and SCP-2912-3. Genetically close to human (all instances
sharing a relatively recent common ancestor in Homo sapiens sapiens), SCP-2912 entities
have/had undergone severe and varied corporeal and psychological augmentation(s). All contained instances of SCP-2912 were abruptly
neutralized on 11/16/1998 – the incident determined to be entirely accidental with blame placed
on PoI-4569’s failure to communicate relevant information to Foundation personnel. SCP-2912-1 Overview: An almost entirely spherical body. A complete lack of a skeletal system. While its legs, arms, and head did exist,
they were found to be vestigial and heavily atrophied. Closely resembling an air-filled balloon,
SCP-2912-1 was able to transport itself through the air via an internal gas bladder (created
from the left lung, so grossly enlarged that it occupied the majority of internal space)
and modified anal sphincter. Black and white skin, forming horizontal stripes
around its body. Capable of extending a long black tongue – the
act producing a vocalization similar to the sound produced by “party horns”. Although its level of intelligence could not
be ascertained, it was at least capable of understanding several English words (mostly
in the form of commands). SCP-2912-2 Overview: An unusually tall (2.56 meters) and spindly
(with the exception of its left hand and abdomen, which both appear bloated) humanoid organism
Capable of producing music from its asymmetrical and disjointed body. Vertebra are comparatively large and oddly
shaped, producing sound similar to a xylophone in use (with ‘songs’ appearing to differ in
correlation with the present angle of SCP-2912-2’s spine). How it was able to create these sounds without
directly striking individual vertebrae was never deduced. The left hand was large and flat and used
to strike its bloated abdomen – the resulting sound similar to those produced by bass drums. Its face lacked eyes, had a bulbous red nose,
(capable of honking despite being entirely organic) and was primarily dominated by a
large mouth (devoid of lips). Yellow skin covered in red ‘polka dots’. Vocalizations failed to correspond with any
known musical instrument but has been described by Foundation musicologists as resembling
an accordion crossed with an ondes Martenot. Potentially higher intelligence than other
SCP-2912 entities, as it was able to compose unique music when commanded to do so. Music produced by SCP-2912-2 triggered strong
emotional responses among listeners – it remains unknown whether this reaction was anomalous
or simply an explainable psychological response. SCP-2912-3 Overview: Resembled a biological human more closely
than SCP-2912-1 or SCP-2912-2. The appearance of face-paint is part of its
natural appearance. Laughter was apparently its only form of vocalization. This noise represented a cognitohazard and
triggered uncontrollable laughter among its listeners, lasting for 6 to 32 hours. An ability to create cream pies seemingly
out of thin air. It is speculated that nearby matter was transmuted
and teleported to SCP-2912-3 in the form of cream pies. [DATA EXPUNGED]
These anomalies were discovered on 10/05/1998 after a raid on a fair ground that had hosted
Herman Fuller’s Circus of the Disquieting only minutes before the arrival of Foundation
operatives. One small tent was left behind, the others
having vanished as operatives approached. Inside were SCP-2912-1, SCP-2912-2, SCP-2912-3,
and PoI-4569. Interview: PoI-4569 Interviewed: “Dick C. Normus” Interviewer: Dr. Patrick Dolan Foreword: Subject is a Caucasian male and
is believed to be between 40 to 60 years of age.Dr. Dolan: Please explain what you were doing
prior to your apprehension. PoI-4569: Listen fuck-face, I don’t go to
your job and pull the anomalous cock out of your ass. I got work to do and Mr. Fuller ain’t exactly
the most patient bloke. Dr. Dolan: So you are a member of Herman Fuller’s
Circus of the Disquieting? PoI-4569: Yeah. What’s it to you? Dr. Dolan: What is your profession? PoI-4569: Clown breeder. Dr. Dolan: Excuse me? PoI-4569: You deaf? I’m a motherfucking clown breeder. Dr. Dolan: How exactly does one become a ‘clown
breeder’? PoI-4569: My father was a clown breeder. My father’s father was a clown breeder. My father’s father’s father? Well, he was a horse beater… Dr. Dolan: And what does this job actually
entail? PoI-4569: You that fucking stupid? It’s in the god damn name. Dr. Dolan: Enlighten me. PoI-4569: I. Breed. Clowns. Dr. Dolan: I see. Is this an old profession? You mentioned your father and grandfather… PoI-4569: [interrupting] Well, in the real
old days, ya didn’t have no breeders. Back then the best we had was child breakers. Dr. Dolan: Child breakers? PoI-4569: What, ya think all freaks are just
born that way? Body does a lot of growing when young. Just got to help it along a certain path – course,
back then you could only make a hunchback. Nah, they deserve more credit. I mean, the Laughing Man, Turtle Boy, hell,
the Inside-Out Girl? They was done the old way. Dr. Dolan: As you say. I think that is all we need at the moment. Thank you for your time. PoI-4569: Fuck you.On 11/16/1998, all SCP-2912 entities self-terminated
between 0400 and 0600. Video revealed no changes in behavior prior
to the neutralization event, when SCP-2912 instances abruptly exploded – their containment
units coated in blood, viscera, confetti, and a viscous black liquid of uncertain purpose. When confronted about this incident, PoI-4569
stated (verbatim): “You fucking shit-eaters forgot to milk the clowns, didn’t you? Way to ruin a decade of work, you cunts.” Addendum: An incident occurred on 12/25/1998,
when video surveillance within PoI-4569’s cell showed the door opening (while external
video depicted the door as closed and no alarm was triggered). During this time, the faint sound of calliope
music became audible within the cell and PoI-4569 proceeds to converse with an unidentified
individual: Unidentified Individual: [voice is notably
deep and atonal but words are muffled and inaudible] PoI-4569: ‘Bout time you got here! Is that a smile or a frown? I can never tell with you. Unidentified Individual: [inaudible] PoI-4569: A liability? Come on, I’m the best fucking clown breeder
ya got and Mr. Fuller knows it. The unidentified individual then briefly entered
the cell – they appear muscular but further details are obscured by a cloud of what appears
to be smoke, which permeates the cell via the anomalous doorway. PoI-4569 cried for help but security personnel
were unable to reach him in time. An autopsy revealed that his cause of death
was acute myocardial infarction (more commonly known as a heart attack).


  1. This is definitely one I been wanting to do for quite a while and thanks to Charcoalman's artwork I can bring the video to life! Visit his deviantart here – Please help support my patreon to help keep the show going by checking out the links below!

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  2. Voice of POI-4569 done by Toasted Hoagie of Toasted Hoagie Gaming

  3. you had me at GAS BLADDER…but made me explode semen all over the carpet with ANAL SPHINCTER!

  4. Ah, gotta love this one. Equal parts messed up and hilarious.

    I wonder–are there any other SCPs connected to this one? I'd be interested to learn more about this circus and these "clown breeders"…

  5. With as quirky, creepy, perplexing, and unexpected the SCP's you've narrated can be, I don't think anything could have prepared me for the phrase: "I"m a motherfucking clown breeder".

  6. Herman fuller. Called it. Those casuals thinking womdertainmemt need to go visit the scp wiki…. or even better go check out the RCP , they wont hate for not being PC. Accepting everybody means exactly that . Everybody.

  7. I remember reading this one now. The child breakers. Real legend shit mixed in with the scp. I had to google it. ahhh The classic days. The good old days . I pray the scp returns to its roots of netruality, standards , and weeding out the tweens that get their buddies to upvote. The scp needs to recognize that they have gone mainstream and with that is things that should be addressed.

    I said it before and ill say it again. SCP should be like AA not involving itself into politics or controversy but strictly limit itself to its focus. Which would be good scp story telling

  8. Why do you always sound like some new York police veteran turned Foundation specialist? You have the perfect voice for this!

  9. so did anyone else think of violent j from icp when they were talking to the clown breeder? I mean technically violent j has bred a lot of clowns…

  10. "You fucking shiteaters forgot to milk the clowns, didn't you?"

    This line here will forever remain the greatest archievement of humanity's written works in the entire history.

  11. As my grandpa was a clown-breeder I can confirm that yes, you have to milk the clowns. The Cotton Candy and Lemonade have to come from somewhere.

  12. You think Im being funny clown? Am I a clown to you? Do you think Im here to amuse you?
    Now tell me what the fuck clownbreeding is. Tell me!

  13. الاسكندريه والطراز المعمارى الفلورنسى Alexandria and the Florentine architectural style قطار النوم من القاهرة الى اسوان Train first sleeper Egypt ذبح والده من اجل مخدر الاستروكس

  14. For some reason this reminds me of all the artificial beings created for entertainment , and profit by exploiting human beings. Like the Mannequin , lamp man , The Doll , multidimensional strip club. Mr wondertainment little misters.

  15. hhhhhmmmm…hσw ínѕultєd wσuld чσu вє tσ вє tσld….чєαh, чєαh gσ mílk ѕσmє clσwnѕ….í αѕk cuz í'm αlwαчѕ lσσkíng fσr nєw put dσwn mαtєríαl..

  16. You need to address the unconatined instance too. It got too powerful and ended up being elected president.

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