Ruby Gloom: Misery Loves Company – Ep.18

Ruby Gloom: Misery Loves Company – Ep.18

>>”Funnyman–” (Gasping) –“Scaredy Bat?”>>Hey, break a leg. (Gulping) (Clearing throat)>>Um… (Coughing in crowd) Uh… (Coughing) (Crowd member snoring) Uh… (Clearing throat) Every notice, uh, how– how terrifying it is to receive a gift? Hmm? (Clearing throat) You know, if a present is supposed to be a nice thing, well then why is it hidden in paper? (Chuckling nervously) You know what I am saying. (Chuckling nervously) (Snoring) (Clearing throat) Ooh! Oh dear me! Where did this menacing hook come from? Who is behind this threatening apparatus? Hello?! (Laughing) Oh well, I now want you to hook me, sir. I now want you to hook me. (Laughing) Well, please hook me. Take me off the stage. (Cheering)>>CROWD: Encore! Encore!>>You are going the wrong way. Stop! Stop it, please! (Crowd laughing) (Sighing) I must talk to my agent. ♪ ♪ So today were gonna ♪ ♪ Take a time to show ya ♪ ♪ The br-br-bright side of the dark side ♪ ♪ Only think you oughta ♪ ♪ No, you really gotta ♪ ♪ See the br-br-bright side of the dark side ♪ ♪ Ruby Gloom, Ruby Gloom ♪ ♪ ♪ We’re gonna show you why ♪ ♪ There’s more than meets the eye ♪ ♪ The br-br-bright side of the dark side ♪ ♪ Only think you oughta ♪ ♪ No, you really gotta ♪ ♪ See the br-br-bright side of the dark side ♪ ♪ Ruby Gloom, Ruby Gloom ♪ ♪ Ruby Gloom, Ruby Gloom ♪>>Catastrophe! Catastrophe!>>POE: Can you use it in a sentence, please?>>Catastrophe, “I hope it will not be a catastrophe when tomorrow, a very special day and a day that should be celebrated, rolls around.”>>Hmm… “Catastrophe,” K–>>Oh, right. It’s the seventh anniversary of the day you were rescued from an ice floe. Misery, how could I forget?>>Well, it’s not a huge deal.>>No, wait. I’ll start again. C-A-T–>>Of course it’s a big deal, Misery. It’s your anniversary.>>I guess it does make me a little happy, but I don’t want a party or anything and I hate surprises. The last time I was surprised, that pack of wolves was ruthless.>>Oh, I wouldn’t worry about any party or anything. (Gasping) Doom, where’d you get that? (Chuckling)>>I’ve never seen Misery look so happy. (Chuckling) She’ll be so thrilled you’ve invited her cousins to come to the party. You’ve outdone yourself, Ruby.>>Well, anything for a pal. (Balloon popping)>>Ow. (Sighing)>>What was the word again?>>ALL: Catastrophe.>>Oh…>>RUBY: Almost finished, guys.>>Hurry, we haven’t eaten in… twenty minutes.>>Hey, guys. Ruby, this was in the mailbox. I think it’s from Misery’s cousins.>>What is it?>>Looks like some kind of legal document clearing the cousins of any blame “in the event of damage or disaster.” Well, I guess it’s good to be careful. (Thunder crashing)>>What document? Who’s being extra careful? (Thunder crashing)>>Your cousins, Ruby invited them to your anniversary celebration as a surprise! (Gasping) I mean, I don’t know.>>My cousins are coming? Ruby, you invited mycousins?(Thunder crashing) My cousins, together, as a duo, as two people joined together in sibling unity?>>Well, it was going to be a surprise, but yes. Isn’t it great?>>But Ruby, my cousins are… cold. (Shivering)>>Hey, they’ll warm up to us in no time. Surprise! (Doorbell ringing)>>B Minor, neat.>>That must be our guests. Just a minute.>>Ruby, I have to warn you, my cousins together are–>>Restrained, but delightful, I’m sure. Welcome, family!>>Can we come in?>>Be my… guest. Misery, look who it is.>>Hello, Malady. Hello, Malaise. You look great.>>Thanks, Misery. You get taller? You must be Ruby. Misery has told us so much about you. Do you really talk to yourself in the bathtub?>>Uh, well I– gosh, would you look at your hand? It’s all bandaged up, Malady. What happened to it?>>Well, it all started last week when I realized I was allergic to polyester… And then, you make a poultice with potatoes, which is supposed to take the sting away. But, instead it gave me hives, due to my severe reaction… …The boils on my elbow, which left a large scab. But, the doctor said to stay off my feet, because they had swelled due to the… …Oil of wintergreen, but sadly, my skin reacted.>>Gosh, that’s really a–>>And then the canker sores, but that was due to lemons, too acidic. It’s a scrape. I’ll be fine.>>Wow, would you look at the time? It’s… uh, gone.>>Hey, guys. Check out the self portrait I made from clay. Does it look like me?>>RUBY: Wow, it’s uncanny.>>Oh, you must be Misery’s cousins.>>She’s Malady and I’m Malaise.>>What happened to your arm? (Talk droning on over itself:)>>Well, it all started last week, when I realized I was allergic to polyester… And then you make a poultice with potatoes, which was supposed to take the sting away …The doctor said that was due to lemons, too acidic. It’s a scrape. I’ll be fine.>>Well, we better get settled in for the night. Time to unwind.>>I’ll bring you some snacks.>>And I’ll go sculpt something, somewhere where it’s warm. (Shivering)>>RUBY: Is it ever cold.>>Wait, Ruby, Skull Boy, I have to tell you about my cousins. Oh well, I guess I’ll get an ice pick ready.>>Here we are, the three amigos, together again. (Thunder crashing)>>So, Misery, tomorrow we celebrate you being saved from that ice floe.>>Yes, it was quite the day. Hello?>>I’m thirsty. Let’s get some buttermilk.>>Hello?>>Wait, isn’t that Misery on an ice floe, waving at us?>>Yeah, I think it is.>>Come on, we’d better get to that buttermilk before it’s all gone.>>Yes, I’d just like to thank you for sending those pirates out to help me.>>Pirates?>>Oh…>>Here you go, guys. (Shivering) Is anyone else cold?>>Ruby, I have to tell you about this cold.>>Oh, a cold is nothing. I haven’t told Ruby about my toe fungus yet.>>Um, why don’t you save it for tomorrow?>>Good idea. It’s a long story.>>Is it ever cold for July. I’d better throw another log on the fire.>>But, uh, Ruby? (Yelling)>>Ooh!>>BOTH: Now Ruby, don’t panic.>>FRANK: But the house is–>>LEN: Frozen! (Crashing)>>I suppose this means the party’s over before it even began. What a c–>>FRANK: Please don’t say it.>>Conundrum. (Note playing)>>Are you kidding? Misery’s party will be the coolest party ever. Whoa!>>Ta-da! (Laughing) Who knew skating could be so much fun?>>Ah,mais oui.And seeing how I’m a descendant of the great French Canadian ice sculptor, Jean Luc Luc Jean, I carved the masterpiece I call, “Hunk of Ice.” Not yet finished. (Chuckling) (Sneezing) (Sighing) (Coughing)>>Hi.>>Yeah! (Party maker blowing)>>ALL: Surprise! Happy seventh anniversary of the day you got rescued from the ice floe, Misery.>>Oh, just what I wanted, a party. Thanks. But, I know this icy wonderland couldn’t have happened without my cousins.>>”Icy,” “cousins,” of course. They brought all this winter cheer with them. Malaise and Malady, you two are amazing.>>That’s right. We bring the party with us wherever we go. I got to lie down now. (Poe Muffled:)>>Help, help! I say, could someone please be of assistance! (Gasping)>>Do you hear that? It sounds like Poe. He must be trapped somewhere.>>We have to find him, before he freezes.>>Family visits are always fun. Family visits are always fun. Family visits–>>POE: Help me, Misery! I’m in here! Help!>>Oh, I think I just found Poe.>>Oh no, what a–>>Catastrophe! (Teeth chattering) (Ice cracking)>>Almost done. (Ice cracking)>>Are you all right? (Shivering)>>Just a slight numbing in my claws, but nothing I can’t handle.>>My cousins are cold. That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you.>>I thought you meant cold figuratively and not literally.>>That side of my family was responsible for the ice age. Malady and Malaise are a walking cold front.>>How can we get things back to normal?>>The secret to breaking the cold front is to separate them. Once they’re on their own, the ice will thaw.>>So that means we’ll have to buddy up and do fun stuff to keep them occupied. Iris, you go with Malaise.>>Okay.>>Poe, you’re paired up with Malady.>>Right.>>You guys are the best. Goodbye, now. (Yawning) Bye, guys.>>IRIS: See ya.>>POE: Bye-bye.>>MALAISE: Whatever. (Chuckling)>>Oh, you two.>>Ah, paradise, a lofty view of Gloomsville in the bracing air is just what the doctor ordered.>>Ouch! An acorn hit me in the head, now I’ll get scurvy. (Chuckling)>>Oh, my dear, one gets scurvy due to lack of vitamin C. Perhaps your ailments are psychosomatic, that is all in your head. Ah! I stand corrected. Well, hopefully your sister is having a better time.>>Isn’t the other side of the earth great? Malaise, I’d like you to meet one of my best friends, Squig. Want to go for a ride? It’s fun, watch! Yahoo! (Laughing) Want to try? (Snoring) (Air horn blowing) ♪ (Buzzing) (Blowing nose) (Squeaking) (Whistle blowing) (Train chugging) (Squeaking and chugging)>>Huh, I think even Misery’s having a better time. (Ice cracking)>>Uh-oh. (Sighing)>>It feels good to be warm again. I’m glad separating Malady and Malaise worked.>>Yeah, I thought I was going to be my own ice sculpture soon.>>Hey, Ruby, Skull Boy. (Both cheering)>>I didn’t know we had a pool. (Gasping)>>We do now.>>The ice melted all at once?>>Hello?>>SKULL BOY: Hey, isn’t that Misery on an ice floe?>>Yeah, I think it is. Don’t worry, Misery! We’ll save you!>>Save her? What happened?>>She’s out there, on an ice floe.>>Unbelievable, on the seventh anniversary of the day Misery was rescued from an ice floe, she’s stuck on an ice floe.>>I believe that is what is called “onomatopoeia.”>>No, Len, it’s not. It’s irony.>>Well, that sure would be either to spell.>>Think, think. We have to come up with an idea to rescue Misery.>>Ruby, think no further.>>BOTH: Woo-hoo!>>Uh-oh.>>Now’s not the time to be picky.>>We’ll surf out to Misery on our guitar. (Bubbling)>>What are we going to do now?>>Don’t worry, I have an idea. (Hammering) (Splashing)>>Brilliant, Skull Boy. Your sculpting talents have really come in handy.>>Yeah, but to be honest, it doesn’t look anything like you.>>I only have a few minutes before this ice canoe melts.Salut, mes amis!>>Hurry, Skull Boy, hurry.>>Two more minutes until this canoe turns to water. ♪ Is your ship sinking? ♪ ♪ Is it arsenic you’re drinking? ♪ Misery, I’m here to rescue you.>>That’s what they all say.>>Well, hurry. We only have a minute before this canoe turns into a giant slushy. Get on. Now paddle like the northern wind.>>I just know they’ll be all right. (Coughing) Ah! Malady, Malaise, what are you doing back so soon?>>Ruby, do you have a first aid kit?>>Of course, but you actually look fine.>>It’s not for me, it’s for Poe.>>Oh…>>All of a sudden, he got this tremendous headache when we were out.>>Yeah and Iris ran out of steam with me. (Sighing and snoring) (Skull Boy yelling)>>Misery! (Yelling) Oh, Misery, are you all right? We were so worried about you.>>I’m okay–>>Ah!>>– just as long as Malaise and Malady are having a good time.>>Actually, we had fun.>>My arm is feeling not worse.>>Let’s really get the party started, Misery. Things are no fun without you.>>Gee, that’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to me, besides my doctor telling me I don’t have rickets. (Spitting)>>What about, you know, the cold front and you two being together?>>You guys go ahead. I could use some fresh air.>>Yeah and I’ll take the next shift.>>Really? You’d do that for me?>>MALADY: What’s family for? I’ll be fine… if my allergies don’t act up. (Sneezing) (Sighing)>>POE: …T-r-o-p-h-e, “catastrophe.” Yes!>>That’s great, Poe, but the word this time was “avocado.”>>Oh… oh, dear. (Sighing)>>Back to peace and quiet.>>Misery, I’m really sorry about surprising you when you don’t like surprises. I should have listened to you.>>Actually, you were right, Ruby. I… um… do like surprises, two to be exact. (Giggling)>>So, then my doctor said the corn will have to come off the foot. Can you believe that?>>SCARDEY: No, I cannot.>>The specialist had never seen a corn that large on a toe. There was talk of amputation, but they didn’t have a saw big enough. (Malady continuing to talk)>>Oh, I will never say “hello. How are you?” again in my life.>>Strange, since I don’t play tennis, isn’t it? There was talk of amputation, but how do you amputate an elbow?>>FRANK AND LEN: “Career Day” with Frank and Len.>>Welcome to “Career Day” with Frank and Len.>>A job should inspire dedication, satisfaction, but above all… rockin’ guitar riffs! (Hard rock playing)>>Let’s look at our first career option. Slide, please. This is a candlestick maker and a candlestick maker is–>>Someone who makes candlesticks. (Chuckling)>>Killer. Now, seeing as candles make wax, which changes shape, a candle maker would sound like this– (Heavy metal solo playing) Okay, next career option, please. Oh, the fishmonger. What does he do, Len?>>He’s a guy who sells fish, Frank. (Chuckling)>>Not exactly. A fishmonger is a guy who mongs fish. So, the guitar riff would sound sort of fishy like this– (Guitar playing with reverb) (Both laughing) Next career option, please.>>Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh! I know this one, a guitar player!>>Yeah, good one. Okay, a guitar player plays guitar and would sound like this on the guitar– (Discordant note sounding) Whoa…>>Way too much pressure.>>Well, that’s it for “Career Day” with Frank and Len. And may all your career aspirations be riffling. (Hard rock playing) ♪

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