Remote Control Human Makes Lunch – Ten Minute Power Hour

(10 Minute Power Hour intro) – [Dan] Usually we just notice Tucker’s moving the camera around a lot and then we’ve started. – [Arin] Bahzah! – [D] Hello, Tucker. – [Tucker] Hey!
– [D] And welcome to the Ten Minute Power Hour! – [A] Wha-at! Did you watch the last one? Then… if you didn’t, then you’re probably confused why we look like stupid morons! – [D] Yes, we are in part two of the “Arin has curly hair and I have straight hair” trilogy. That’s what I’m calling it now.
– [A] I guess that’s true. – [D] Yeah! Yeah. – [A] That’s a very, very nuanced name. The dinosaurs! (Dan laughs) (Sound of clattering and minor chaos) – [A] Wah! – [D] That’s amazing. – [A] Why is the background purple now? Is this season two or something? – [D] I don– I dunno. – [A] What are we doing today, Dan?
– [D] I– what?! I don’t know. I– I’ve never known! – [A] (laughing) He’s so offended! What is this? – [Chris] Here’s the deal. – [A] What do you mean? You just gave us a letter.
– [C] We’re gonna play a game. – [D] Okay?
– [C] And you guys will understand the rules as we play! First thing is, open that up! – [D] First of all, this is Chris. He’s a– Chris is a producer. He’s a really good guy.
– [C] Hey guys! – [D] “Hello grumps! First, thank you for taking care of my son Jory Jr.” (Arin laughs)
– [D] I… I already don’t like this. “I’m worried though. I saw you feeding him fistfuls of chips and pancakes. “He is not getting enough quality nutrition.” – [A] That’s not true.
– [D] Oh, I see. That’s a callback. “I’m a merchant marines… and we–” (Arin laughs) – [D] “And we know the importance of vitamin C.”
– [A] Yeah, you’ll get scurvy. – [D] “I fear Jory Jr. will succumb to scurvy.”
– [A] (burps) As I said before. – [D] “Please make my son a peanut butter and orange marmalade sandwich. “He loves them! No crust. “I’ve drawn the shape he likes below. “Remember. the second most important vitamin is love.”
– [A] That’s bullshit. – [D] So the… it’s shaped like a heart. – [A] It’s cute.
– [D] We got that, Tucker? – [A] It’s a heart.
– [D] Okay. “Lots of lemon! Jory Sr. Stewart Merchant Marines. “P.S., fresh citrus is best, “so the sandwich must be completed in 10 minutes to be nutritious.”
– [A] (laughing) Is this a video game? – [D] “I’ll send additional recipes as I remember them.” “P.S.S….”
– [A] Isn’t that P.P.S? – [D] Yeah, it would be post-postscript, not postscript script. (Arin laughs)
– [D] “Please put everything you make in his lunch box.” All right. Also, he included the latitude and longitude. – [A] (through laughter) I gotta know where this is, hold on. – [D] All right. To summarize… We need to make Jory a sandwich… A peanut butter and orange marmalade sandwich, no crust, in the shape of a heart… In ten minutes.
– [C] Correct. – [D] So– (burps) Sounds good to me! (laughing) At the great garbage patch in the ocean? Aw man, that’s funny and not funny at the same time. – [A] Aah!
– [D] Ah, okay. Uh…
– [A] It’s a… – [D] It’s a googly eye. Um…
– [A] It’s like more…. – [D] Google…. Google eye up, I’ll go.
(Arin laughs) – [D] Google eye down, you go. – [A] I didn’t– I didn’t call that.
– [D] (stammers) Okay, call it. – [A] Google eye down.
– [D] Okay. – [D] Google up!
– [A] You go! – [D] I’m on my way! – [A] So what does that mean? – [D] Let’s do this.
– [A] Wow, that’s hot. – [D] Right? (To off-screen) Right? I heard a couple like (makes awed noises) – [D] (voice distorted by walkie-talkie) Hello.
– [A] Hi, Dan. – [D] Ok, I’ve got visual.
– [A] Should I put this on now? – [C] Please. – [A] But it’ll mess up my hair… – [D] …dancing, and my mom in the 80s… – [C] (offscreen) Okay! You guys are ready to go now!
– [A] Yeah… – [C] You’re set, you’re prepped, you know what’s happening? – [A] I have no idea.
– [D] All right. Arin, there’s a plate in front of you, and, and a… I think a fork on it?
– [A] You didn’t tell me wha– I got a fuckin nice shirt on! – [D] So you’re feeling the plate?
– [A] Yeah. – [D] Set– set– okay, uh… Yup, put the other– put the stuff, sandwich bag, and the knife, put those to the side. Now– yup, just ahead of you is some bread. A little bit, uh… to the left, to the left. Yeah! Got it.
– [A] Bread. Bread bread bread bread. – [D] Grab two slices. Okay, put your right hand forward. Yeah– forward and to the right slightly and down. Down. Yes! Those are your two– bring them– bring them both. Bring both those jars. – [A] Jar action! – [D] In your left hand is the peanut butter. Open that jar.
(Arin gasps) Very good, Arin. Okay– – [A] Oh there’s a fuckin’ thing on it.
– [D] –you’re gonna pop the top open. – [A] How could you— how could you have done this to me? – [D] Now take the knife… take the knife, which you set to the right side of the plate. That’s the spoon… just to the left of that is the knife… Yes!
– [A] Yeah, yeah, I got it. – [D] Okay. All right. Now scoop out some, some nut butter. Oh, yeah, that’s a good scoop! – [A] Is it?
– [D] And apply it to the bread. – [A] I hate this.
– [D] Yes! One more. Return once more to that peanut butter well. Okay, good. Yes, that’s a nice glob. Drop it down. That’s it. That’s it! Yes! There’s the marmalade. – [A] Marmalade?
– [D] Open the jar of marmalade. That’s the bread, put it on the bread! Yes! Close the sandwich. (Arin grunts) – [D] Ye-es! Okay! Now place it down, and you need to cut that sandwich into the shape of a heart. – [A] Okay? Yes! – [D] Good job, Queen.
– [A] How do you like that shit? – [D] Uh oh! Oh no! Okay, we kind of lost the bottom of the heart. – [A] What? What do you mean?
– [D] (stammers) It kinda came off you know what? Uh… Oh… Aw fuck, I don’t know what to do! Aw, fuck, I’m freakin out, man! – [A] What do you think?
– [D] Shit! It’s okay, it’s– it’s like C-plus work. – [A] Can I save it? Is there a way to save it? – [D] Y– No, I don’t know man! Get the rest of that sandwich off the plate. And the knife. Don’t eat it! Are you eating it right now?
– [A] (mouth full) No! – [D] Stand up, take the plate. Turn to your right slightly. Walk forward. (Arin yells in confusion) – [D] Oh, god, Arin, I fucked up! Okay, stop!
– [A] What?? What do you mean you fucked up? – [D] Take two steps and walk towards the table. – [A] Why? – [D] Just do it! There should be sandwich bags right past the bread. Yes! Grab one. – [A] Okay.
– [D] open the sandwich bag… – [A] Uh-huh?
– [D] Put the sandwich in the sandwich bag! – [C] Two minute warning!
– [D] Don’t lose that corner. Oh, god, you lost the corner!
– [A] No, no–! – [D] Okay, great. Seal that bitch up! Chris, you gotta move!
– [C] No, the instructions were to put it in the lunch box… – [A] In the lunch box??
– [D] Aww, shit… Okay. – [Woman] One minute, Dan, one minute! – [D] Oh, god, walk forward Arin! Walk forward! You’re almost there! There’s the lunch box! You just touched it. Noooo—! Got it! Throw that shit in there! Hurry! Just the sandwhich, you don’t need the plate! Alright, fuck it! – [A] Fuck the plate!
– [D] Just close it! Arin! There’s no time! Go forward! Push Chris out of the way!
– [A] Where’s Jory? Where’s Jory?! – [C] You gotta make his whole lunch, guys. There’s a PS. (Dan groans)
– [A] What else do we have to make? – [C] You did good! You did good! You won! – [T] Hooray! Yay!
(scattered clapping)
– [Crew] You did it! Yaaay! – [A] What’s wrong with your lip? Why do you keep tapping your lip? – [D] Kiss me! – [C] Congratulations.
– [D] Thank you Chris.
– [A] Thanks bud. – [D] “Dear-er grumps!” Okay, the latitude and longitude has shifted. “Hello grumps. “Thank you for making Jory Jr. a healthy sandwich. “I remembered two more of Jory Jr’s favorites.”
– [A] Oh! – [D] “He loves ants on a log and Spaghetti-Os.”
– [A] Oh! – [D] What are ants on a log? – [A] It’s when you put peanut butter and raisins on a piece of celery. – [D] Bleeh… “Please make Jory Jr. two ants on a log and put his Spaghetti-Os in his thermos. “I’ve included a can opener to help! “Lots of lemon, Jory Sr., Steward Merchant Marines “P.S., the side dishes must be completed in ten minutes or the ants will crawl away. “I’ll send additional recipes as I remember them.” Did you just eat that entire sandwich? – [A] Huh? Yeah. – [D] Who’s been wearing this hat? That’s a lot of brim sweat. – [A] That’s me. – [D] Really?! Wow. – [D] Let’s do–
– [A] It’s a dirty, gross hat. – [C] Time’s goin’.
– [D] Aah! Arin! Tell me what to do!
– [A] Look down, you fucking clod! Alright, you got, uh… Celery to– left hand, forward! And a little to the right! And down… DOWN! There you go, celery! And– I can’t see! Move your head down, you stupid, fucking… Okay, good. Now like… break it in half. Aww, yeah. The knife… is, forward, forward, forward, forward, forward do-own! – [D] Eugh. – [A] Ye– Yeah, well I mean, yeah. It’s attached to a thing. Now dip that shit in that peanut butter, baby! Just get a big, wholesome glob, bleh! Grab a piece of celery and just run it across the center. Aw, yeah, that’s PERFECT!
(Dan chuckles) Directly behind the peanut butter jar, there is, uh, raisins, I think. – [D] I’ve got peanut butter all over my hands, I can’t get a good grip! – [A] Just smash it on the table, you dolt! – [D] That’s not how you do things! – [A] Now open that shit, and grab… grab individual raisins. – [D] Okay. – [A] And then put ’em… like, in a row… on the damn celery. (yelling) YE-EAH, DAN! OH! OH! That’s AMAZING! Put that shit down! – [D] Do I have to put it in a sandwich bag?
– [A] I don’t see sandwich bags!! – [D] Chris, where are the sandwich bags?! – [A] Get those ants on a log right in there. No, they don’t fit, dude! You gotta, you gotta bite one! – [D] I’m not gonna bite one!
– [A] You gotta take a little bit on the top, Dan! – [A] It’s not gonna fit!
– [D] Alright, its’ gone! (laughing) There’s so much peanut butter on this… – [A] Ok, Spaghetti-Os now! Directly in front of you. – [D] Yes.
– [A] There’s a can. Okay, you got the can.
– [D] Yes. – [A] And then, and then right beyond that is the can opener. – [D] I’ve only known the side clamp-ys! I don’t know how to do a top clamp-y. Oh, god, there’s so much peanut butter on my hands. I’m smelling Spaghetti-Os now. Is this open?
(Arin cackling) – [A] The thermos is– your right hand, right hand. Forward, forward, keep goin’, keep goin’, keep goin’, keep goin’, keep goi– nope, nope, nope, to the right, to the right, there you go-o! Open that shit up! Pour that motherfucker in the thermos like a motherfucker!
– [D] Oh. – [A] Ye-eah! Ohh, you can feel the goop.
– [D] (uncomfortably) Aaaaah! – [A] Close that shit up. – [D] All right, that feels pretty good! BAM! Ye-eah!
– [A] Yeah! – [D] Yeah?
– [A] Did you do it? (scattered clapping)
– [D] (laughing) Ye-eah! Aw, thank you! Thank you. – [A] Lots of lemon.
– [D] Thank you, lots of lemon. – [C] Congratulations, gentlemen. – [D] Thank you.
– [C] Two rounds down, one more to go. – [D] “Dearest grumps”! You want to read this one? – [A] I’ll read it…!
– [D] Okay. – [A] “Avast! Collaborate and harken! We should–”
– [D] Was he attacked by pirates? – [A] Ohh, maybe he was… “We should reward Jory Jr. for being a good boy and eating his balanced meal.” I agree! “His favorite dessert is 10 M&Ms, and 25 skittles.” – [A] “This is less than half the serving size of both,”
– [D] Oh God. “so this lunch is still healthy.”
– [D] Are you gonna mix them up? You sick son of a bitch. – [A] “Unfortunately, Jory Jr. has a debilitating color allergy. “Jory Jr. can only eat orange and blue skittles or green and yellow M&Ms.” – [D] Alright! Uh…! We–
– [C] Enter player three! – [D] Player three, Ross has joined the battle! – [A] Ross!
– [D] Hey, man. – [C] Ten minutes starts right now! – [D] Oh God. Okay. Ross, ahead of you is a plate of M&Ms and skittles. – [A] Yeah… – [D] Yeah, NO, don’t– okay, take it easy.
– [R] Yeah. – [D] Uh, just to the left of it, there is a sandwich bag. There it is. Just open the sandwich bag. Okay, w– we’re timed, – [D] We have to work quickly.
– [R] Yeah? I think the best way to do this is for you to just hold up one Skittle at a time, and we’ll say yes or no. – [D] Re–
– [A] Uh, okay, is that a red Skittle, or a red M&M? – [D] Jesus Christ. – [A] Can you hold it up so a logo is showing? – [D] Don’t put it in the sandwich bag unless we say yes! – [A] (yelling) I can’t see the fucking logo, your fingers are covering it up, you dumbass! (Dan laughing)
No, augh! I don’t know if it’s a Skittle or not! – [D] Ross, take the Skittle that’s in your left hand, and put it– Put it in the sandwich bag.
– [A] Put it in the bag. – [A] Okay, so that’s one…
– [D] Okay, we did it, one! One down, 24 to go. Oh God.
– [A] (whispering) Jesus christ. – [R] Was it the round ones or the flat– it was a flat one. So this is– this is a skittle.
– [A] Flat ones are M&Ms! The fatter ones are skittles.
– [R] Okay, what’s this one? – [A] Move it up to the light, you fuck!
– [R] I can’t– I don’t know where the fucking light is, you shithead!
– [A] Oh, right in front of you! No, forward! Not to the side! – [R] I don’t know! I’ve got no vision!
– [A] Forward a little bit. Down… I don’t know what that– is that purple? – [D] (gently) Bring it closer to us, Ross. No, no, no, not, not, not where we’re sitting, closer to your hat.
– [A] That’s not one that we could use anyway! Put it away! Put it away! Throw it away! Don’t even put it back in the bin!
(Dan laughs) – [A] Aaaaugh, you fucked up! – [A] Aww, man…
– [D] That looks like a Skittle! That looks like a Skittle! – [A] Okay, put it in the bag!
– [D] Put it in the bag! – [A] No no no no, wait! No, no, don’t do it! – [D] We don’t want–?
– [A] No, no! Throw it away! – [D] Throw it away, throw it away. Okay, perfect. Perfect. Alright grab us a new one! That looks like a Skittle, put it in the bag! – [A] Yeah, red Skittles are good.
– [D] Okay! – [D] Um… that…
– [A] Next one. Throw it away. Fuck it. Forget it.
– [D] Throw it away. – [D] No, that– (laughs)
– [A] Don’t put it back in–! – [D] Okay.
– [A] No, not that one! That’s a red M&M! Get rid of it.
– [D] Throw it away. Great. – [A&D] Uh…
– [D] That’s a Skittle, that’s a grape skittle. – [A] Get it away. Don’t eat it. – [D] Orange…!
– [A] Orange… – [D&A] Skittle! – [D] Throw it in! Put it in the bag! Yeah!
– [A] Put it in the bag! Yeah! – [R] Wow, we’re making great progress.
– [D] I think we’ve got four. – [A] Nope, get rid of it. – [D] Red, red M&M! Do we want those, Arin?
– [A] Uh… No.
– [D] Okay, throw it away! – [A] Do they even make green M&Ms?
– [C] Six minute warning! – [D] Oh, God!
– [C] Six minute warning! – [A] No, get rid of it! Yellow s– wait no! Aw, fuck, it could have been an M&M. – [D] I looks like an M&M.
– [A] Get rid of it! – [D] Okay. Uh, throw it away!
– [A] Get rid of it! – [D] Uh… UH….! Bring it a little closer, a little, gently closer… – [A] Oh, oh, oh oh…
– [D} Uh… Rotate it, rotate it, slowly. Gently… – [A] You’re blocking it. Move your finger, you’re blocking it. – [D] Turn it upwards, towards us. – [D] Aw, shit. – [A] Aaaaugh!!!
– [D] Throw it away! Fuck it! Put it in the bag! Okay! – [A] You lost the hat! You gotta put the hat back on. – [R] Wait, is there a camera on my head?! – [A] YES!
– [R] Oh, I thought you meant the camera that Tucker had! – [D] Oh, no problem, that’s why we kept saying put it toward your head.
– [R] No one told me what was going on, I didn’t even know there was a camera on my head. – [D] Ross, it’s okay bud! – [R] Okay, cool.
(Dand and Arin laugh) – [D] Uh, blue! Throw it away.
– [A] Forget it. – [A] Oh no, the color’s all fucked up! – [D] Oh, God!
– [A] The color feed is all fucked up! – [D] Oh GOD!
– [A] No, no, don’t throw it away, we don’t know what it is! – [D] Red M&M.
– [A] Get rid of it! – [A] Yellow… M&M. – [D] Put it in!
– [A] Put it in! – [D] Yes!
– [A] Oh, is that an M&M? – [D] Is it?
– [A] It might be. That’s an M&M, put it in!
– [D] Yes! Oh, shit, do we need 10 of each? – [A] 10 of M&Ms, and 25 of Skittles.
– [D] Aw! We’re fucked, dude! – [A] Put, put that one in the bag! I think we’re good on M&Ms. – [D] Okay.
– [A] Alright, so, Skittle time! – [D] Down further. Nope, nope, throw it away. – [R] Trying to find flat ones. Is that a good one?
– [A] No no no, you want the fat ones! – [R] Okay, this one’s dummy thicc, tell me, what is it?
– [A] Okay, no– – [D] It is dummy thicc. Is it– okay.
– [A] That is a Skittle, but it’s not the right color. – [A] Uh, oh, YES! Throw it in.
– [D] YES! Yes, yes. – [A] No, get rid of it.
– [C] One minute, thirty seconds. – [A] Yes, yes, put it in! I don’t know how many Skittles we put in. So… I guess we could just do as many as you can. Uh… no, get rid of it! – [R] Aw, good, I dropped it by accident.
– [A] Get rid of it! – [D] Who’s gonna clean this up?
– [A] Uh, yes! Yes! – [D] Throw it in there! – [D] Theres a million of em!
– [C] Thirty seconds left!
– [R] This one? – [D] Oh, god!
– [A] No, get rid of it! Get rid of it! No! – [D] Save that– I’m gonna eat it later. – [C] Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five… – [R] Do it?
– [C] four, three… – [R] Ar– Dan, do you want me to do that?
– [C] two, one. (alarm beeps) And time is up! – [Jory] I’ve been handed a letter here. “Dear Jory Sr., “Son, even if I’m not there, I appreciate you. “I’ve asked your friends to make you a nutritious and tasty lunch, “just like I used to make. “Please let me know how they did with this questionnaire. “Go ahead and read your answers aloud, “So I’ll know when I watch the video”… Hi, hi Dad… Uh… “Lots of lemon! “Jory Sr.” And I know it’s him cuz only my dad would know that he doesn’t go by that name. I have a checklist that says, “Was all of your lunch in your lunchbox?” Uh… There’s a lunchbox in front of me. “Does all your food look appealing?” – [J] The box itself is filthy! It’s some kind of brown residue. I don’t have a lot of confidence in what it’s made out of.
– [D] It’s– it’s food, Jory, there’s more food! – [A] Yeah, you could just lick it off the end, it’s sauce.
– [D] It’s bonus. – [J] I have a…. looks like… Colloquially, it’s called uh ants on a log. – [A] That’s right.
– [D] Yeah, all right! – [J] It’s pretty appealing.
(Dan snickers) – [J] And I have a… what looks like… Maybe like… a third of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich? There’s something…
– [D] That’s a heart-shape. The way you like it.
– [J] … I don’t like about it.
– [R] It was made with love. – [J] There’s something really not great about the like, orange coloration there. – [A] It’s marmalade, just like– Yes!
– [J] It’s marmalade, or something else… – [D] I don’t like the way he’s wrinkling up his nose…
– [J] And then a… thermos. It’s got a dinosaur on it, which I do like. But it is just slick with some… …clear slippery residue. – [D] OPEN IT.
– [J] Okay, there’s another subheading that says “accuracy.” “What is the shape of your sandwich?” as I mentioned, it’s– it’s Is it a… it’s like a heart? – [D] YES! Yes, it is a heart!
– [R] Yeah! – [R & A] It’s a heart!
– [D] It’s a heart, Jory! I love you!
– [J] It’s, yeah, it’s like, “Does your sandwich appear to have peanut butter “and orange marmalade on it?” – [D] It does–
(D, A, & R gasp) – [D] Oh, I wouldn’t eat the… We should call–
– [J] I think that orange marmalade, it looks like it, there’s like rinds in there.
– [A] Yeah. Yeah! It’s orange marmalade, I didn’t fuck it up.
– [J] Yeah. It’s not good. “Do you have Spaghetti-Os in your thermos?” Okay. Oh! That at least partially explains what some of the orange-brown residue is. Okay. Oh, yeah. Those are… “Do I have 10 green or yellow M&Ms?” – [D] Just lie, Jory. Lie for us.
– [J] Uh… No, I– I’ve got… I’ve got two green M&Ms and three yellow M&Ms. – [D] Maybe cuz that shit was fucking impossible you diva! – [J] I see one orange skittle. I think the rest of this entire bag is M&Ms? – [J] Which is– to be fair is–
– [D] We don’t want you to get sick, Jory! I do like M&Ms more than I like skittles. So that’s good! – [A] That’s good.
– [D] Lucky break. – [J] “Does your lunch appear to be made with love?” It’s the last question in the… “style” subcategory. It seems to be made with love. There’s a lot of…
(Cheers from D, A, & R) – [J] There’s a lot of passion in the way these uh… These ants on a log are laid out. – [D] God damn right there.
– [J] a very good raisin distribution. I’m pretty happy. – [A] Oh…!
– [D] I wouldn’t do that. – [J] Not bad. Not bad! – [D] He’ll be dead within the hour.
– [J] Okay. And I have, um… I have a note at the bottom of this, that says– oh, actual final question. “Just in case something goes horribly wrong, “I’ve sent a second backup lunch. “If you don’t feel that your lunch was made with love,” which is in a slightly bigger font, “or if any other above questions were a no, “it’s up to you if you’ll eat the lunch they made for you, or the backup lunch, which is guaranteed acceptable and tasty.” Oh, it’s just a Lunchable! (D, A, & R chuckle) – [J] That’s regular food! That’s real– that’s regular food! (D, A, & R chuckle) – [J] I think if I’m gonna make a binary choice between one on the other I’m probably gonna go with the… handmade lunch. I think, I think I feel good about it. I don’t know… – [D] Yeah!
– [J] …what the point of all this is or why, uh…. the Game Grumps, my employers, are in communication with my father, but, uh… they did a great jo– Mm-mm. No, that was dishonest. (laughter)
They did a good job. Do I pop now? We did it! – [D] Yay! Jory, we love you man!
– [A] Yay, Jory! – [J] I don’t know what the bit is! What is the bit?!
(laughter) (video game music)

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