It’s that time of year again. It’s the cheese rolling championship in the UK. This guy has it perfectly under control. Yeah there goes the cheese. A pack of determined dickheads are battling to get their hands on it. This sheila is breaking away in front. She’s implemented a loose ragdoll “I don’t give a fuck about my neck and spine” strategy. It’s good to see one person cares about their brain. That’s a solid helmet. She looks happy with her decision making. Hashtag no regrets. These doctors are like “yep, you’re fucked.” That cheese has literally cost
her an arm and a leg. Anyway, this fella has been inspired by Tom Cruise doing his own stunts aaaand I think he’s knocked himself out. “Do you know what day it is, mate?”
Nup, not a clue. I can hear this hill singing the Foo Fighters: “done, done and I’m onto
the next one.” “done, done and I’m onto the next one.” Is that wanker up there wearing
speedos? Fuck yes. They are definitely making him more aerodynamic. It’s cheesy, it’s ballsy, I like it. This fucken nutcase here is the one to beat, though. Oh there’s Deadpool. I wouldn’t be surprised if the Fox marketing team genuinely sent him here. This bloke in the yellow is beating the cheese. Do you catch it? Do you beat it? I have no idea. This mad bastard has also implemented
the “I don’t give a fuck about my neck and spine” strategy. His backpack decides to go
solo and comes to a stop. Smart. That’s a smart backpack that fucken values its life. That is the look of a Cheese Athlete who needs a knee reconstruction. He’s playing it safe. He knows he can get
cheese on special at the supermarket. No need to break any bones. I dunno why I feel like this footage will be used for advertising in future. Some things money can’t buy, for everything else there’s mastercard. Yeah nah yeah have a break, have a kit kat. Fucken Snap! Crackle! Pop! Hahaha. Mark my words. You could sell shit using this footage. You could sell shit.