Kraft Macaroni & Cheese Going All-Natural Just Isn’t Natural

Kraft Macaroni & Cheese Going All-Natural Just Isn’t Natural


AND I AM SO GLAD YOU’RE HERE,
I AM SO GLAD YOU’RE EXCITED. I DO NEED YOUR ENERGY BECAUSE I
DON’T WANT TO BE ALONE RIGHT NOW. I JUST HEARD SOMETHING SHOCKING. YOUIFIES LIKE KRAFT MACARONI AND
CHEESE? ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
, OF COURSE, YOU DO. YOU’RE HUMAN BEINGS. OF COURSE, YOU LOVE IT. WELL, BRACE YOURSELF, BECAUSE
KRAFT HAS ANNOUNCED THAT THEY’VE GONE NATURAL. YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. THAT WAS MY REACTION BECAUSE I
FIRST ASSUMED THAT NATURAL MEANT THEY WERE DOING THEIR PRODUCTS
IN THE BUFF, BUT IT’S EVEN MORE UPSETTING THAN THAT. WHEN THEY SAY “NATURAL,” THEY
MEAN THEY HAVE REMOVED ALL ARTIFICIAL PRESERVATIVES,
FLAVORS AND DYES FROM THEIR CLASSIC MAC AND CHEESE RECIPE. I DON’T GET IT. I DON’T GET IT. I WAS NOT AWARE, FIRST OF ALL,
THAT A PACKET OF DUST WAS A– ( LAUGHTER )
TECHNICALLY A RECIPE. ( LAUGHTER )
HERE’S THE DEAL. KRAFT CLAIMS YOU CAN’T TASTE
THE DIFFERENCE, AND THEY CAN PROVE YOU CAN’T TASTE THE
DIFFERENCE BECAUSE THEY CHANGED THE RECIPE THREE MONTHS AGO AND
THEY’VE NOW SOLD 50 MILLION BOXING OF THE NEW RECIPE WITHOUT
PEOPLE NOTICING. ALL RIGHT. BUT WE’RE AMERICANS. YOU THROW ENOUGH SALT AND PEPPER
IN THERE WE’LL EAT THE BOX WITHOUT NOTICING. THIS IS WRONG, WRONG! THIS IS A SERIOUS BREACH OF
TRUST. WHEN I PICK UP A PACKAGE OF
ENRICHED MACARONI PRODUCT AND DRIED MILKFAT POWDER, I EXPECT A
CERTAIN AMOUNT OF FAKE INGREDIENTS. ( LAUGHTER )
BUT NOW, INSTEAD OF ARTIFICIAL COLORING, THEY’RE USING SPICES
LIKE PAPRIKA AND SOMETHING CALLED ANNATTO. WHAT THE HELL IS ANNATTO?>>Jon: I DON’T EVEN KNOW.>>Stephen: I DON’T KNOW. I WANT GOOD OLD-FASHIONED
COLORING LIKE YELLOW NUMBER 6. I KNOW WHERE YELLOW NUMBER 6
COMES FROM, RIGHT BETWEEN YELLOW 5 AND YELLOW 7, RIGHT WHERE IT
BELONGS. IF YOU MISSED THE ORIGINAL
RECIPE, JUST MELT AN ORANGE CRAYON IN THERE PUP GET THE SAME
BASIC EFFECT.

Be the first to comment

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.


*