Gross “Food Hacks” With Troom Troom

Gross “Food Hacks” With Troom Troom


Troom Troom: Bacon mask? Never heard of it.
Eros: “Never heard of it.” That’s because if you look over and you see your friend
wearing a bacon mask, there’s a very good chance they’re freaking psychopath and
they’re probably working their way up to cutting your face off and wearing it as a
nice spa mask instead. Welcome back everyone.
I’m Eros Mandex and today we’re gonna be going through 10 DIY “healthy versus
junk food” challenges by all of our favorite channel, Troom Troom. The channel
with 14 million subscribers and, yet they have some of- honestly guys, I
think they put out stupid-ass content just to get views ’cause it works.
Oh, I, mmm… They make me mad. Oh, these… Mm… mm… Anyways without further ado, without further introduction, I’m gonna take a sip of my decaf coffee (’cause it’s
8 o’clock at night) and then… let’s begin. Troom: Mmm, these burgers smell so nice. One of
them is classic and the other one is made- Eros: Not gonna lie, when I first saw the
(spoiler alert, avocado burger thing) that monstrosity that they made, I thought it
was made out of clay because I don’t know about you but I don’t really eat
many avocados that are that perfectly green. Troom: …using a special healthy recipe.
Eros: It’s special healthy one! Troom: Take out the seed.
Eros: This has potential to
be good. Depending on what they do with the avocado.
Troom: Trim the bottom so
the avocado can stay still. Fill both halves with cream cheese.
Eros: Okay, all right… Are you gonna put anything IN or ON the cream cheese? Troom: Slice radish and tomato.
Eros: They’re not gonna season the cream cheese. Something about this recipe tells
me that the people of Troom Troom are the type of people that think salt is
spicy somehow. Like, they’re afraid of spices. Okay. First… if you try eating this
with your hands, it’s gonna create one giant fucking mess. Like avocado, at least
the avocados that I get at the typical supermarket, they just like mush
into your hand when you try to grip it well enough to bite. That, and the cream
cheese- bland as shit. And then the radishes and then the tomato… No salt, no pepper.
Not even vinegar or something to give it a little bit of spicy flavor and pizazz.
Okay. I mean, I’m gonna take that back. They did put olive oil on the end. We
haven’t gotten there yet, spoiler alert. But that’s all they do. And by no means
am I like, the best cook ever. But I at least know that the seasoning cabinet
exists.
Troom: Join the burger with a skewer. My friend is finally here. Jessica is so
tired, and she’s hungry enough to eat a horse. Stop! Put on gloves first.
Eros: First off, let a bitch slap my hand away from food when
I’m hungry as fuck. Like, oh my god… that is- Mm… mm… I’m not a vampire, but slap my
hand away and you goin’ get bit. You goin’ get bit. I will eat your corpse for lunch.
Troom: Jessica starts the taste test. Let’s try it. The classic burger is amazing, as always.
Eros: It’s because it has seasonings. Troom: And now, let’s taste the healthy vegan gluten-free burger.
Eros: Hahaha Alright, before we get to the taste test of… whatever
the fuck they made, let’s watch them tasty the “healthy vegan gluten-free bur-” IT’S NOT VEGAN. It has cream cheese and cheese. Troom Troom is just… at this level, they’re
just trolling. They’re a prank channel. They’re trolling
us… with videos like these. Getting millions of views, expecting things like
this to come out fucking tasty. *sigh* anyways, let’s see what they have to say.
Troom: Mmm, it’s amazing! Jessica can’t decide
which one is better. Eros: the burger haha
Troom: So she eats both. Yummy! Having troubles with Rafaello?
Here, take my healthy candies. Eros: Something tells me Rafaello paid
them to put them in the video. Troom: …candied fruit, seedless dates, and pumpkin
seeds in a blender. Make balls out of the mixture. Eros: This one actually sounds good. I mean,…
Troom: Cover them with shredded coconut or wafer crumbs.
Eros: If y’all ever had like a Lara bar, or whatever those bar things are called, they’re
primarily with figs, I predict it would come out like this, and when done
properly, it actually come out rather well.
Troom: …And while Jess is distracted by the healthy
food, I can save her from her sweet Rafaello temptation.
Eros: Ha, and the friend just
walks off with the candy. Bitch, that is how you get cut.
Troom: A doughnut made out of
an apple? Why not! Eros: Oh lord, how are they gonna do this? Another thing I love
about videos like this is that they take something simple like an apple, they do a
shitload of work to it… to barely, barely transform it into just some
bullshit thing. Like, something that is just not at all important. Not at all all
that impressive. Looky here. They take an apple, they put some
yogurt on it and, to transform it into the doughnut, they take candied fruit!
Which, that green one is bight as shit. Troom: A cup of tea and the donut are a match made in
heaven. Jessica is eating…
Eros: That’s not a fucking
donut, it’s a piece of apple that you covered in yogurt and put sweet fruit on.
A donut is made out of dough, not a fucking apple.
Troom: …But the real donut is
still better and more delicious. Jessica has just been at a new hot dog
place. She grabbed a few treats. One hot dog is plain, and the other one is super
healthy. It’s made out of veggies. Eros: Healthy hot dog. I could get on board with this.
…Ooookay. Hmm. I saw what they were gonna do with this pepper, and
I’m gonna be disappointed. I’m gonna be disappointed. They didn’t do anything…
They didn’t do anything with the pepper… They didn’t… Like, at this point,
I’m not upset with the ideas they have. Like, this idea has potential. Like, it
looks like it could potentially be tasty as shit, but- they didn’t even cook
it! Troom Troom! They didn’t even cook it! Troom: Mmm, not bad. Let’s swap. We taste both
hot dogs and decide that Jessica likes the classic one more, and Rosie likes the
new veggie hot dog.
Eros: Anyways, moving on. Troom: Rosie cooked the healthiest breakfast! No
eggs were broken in the making of this dish. Eros: This is gonna be disappointing.
Troom: Pour yogurt onto a plate to be shaped like a fried egg white.
Eros: Oooh, this is gonna be disappointing. So, you take yogurt. You take a canned peach. You make it look
like a fuckin’ egg. So many of these are just snacks,
not actual meals. That alone is like four bites of food. Okay, maybe six. I’ll be able to compromise with six. And it’s not even
all that nutritious. It’s just a peach with yogurt, some sweet ass jam, and
condensed apple block. The best way to sum up my feelings is like: the fact
this is like, “it’s a healthy life hack for breakfast!”, it makes me…
It just makes me mad. It just makes me mad. That’s the best way
to explain. It’s like, “NO!” For those who can’t see me doing this, I’m doing a knife
hand, so it’s like, “NO!” ‘Cause that’s not fucking breakfast. That’s something you
feed a three year old. Anyways, I’m gonna conclude the video
there, guys. If you guys want me to try some of these
dishes ’cause you all hate me that much, yeah, let me know the comments on down below if it is something that you guys are interested in. I might do it for shits
and grins. I don’t know. However, thank you very much for you guys’ time. Comment on down below. Click that Like. Click that Subscribe button. And as
always, I hope you guys have a good day. I hope you guys have a great night. I hope
you have a wonderful whatever it is you decide to have, and I hope to see y’all next
time. you

6 Comments

  1. Before I comment on the atrocities fully, it would have been hilarious if they bought a spicy pepper in their stupidity.

    So 1)canned fruit is basically candy and not healthy
    2) CREAM CHEESE IS NOT VEGAN
    3)Unless it is marked and citified gluten free it isn't. Most cheeses have gluten in them (flour prevents cheese from sticking together)
    4) the way they deseeded that avocado is how many people SLICE OPEN their hand. It is incorrect and they are idiots
    5) you follow these hacks you WILL DIE from malnutrition…
    Just a PSA from your friendly neighborhood midnight Reditor (check my channel out).

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